His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you didnt know i had herpes?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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