I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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