I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
