Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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