Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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