never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
