I wanna bring you to show and tell
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
