'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
