she woke up with a sticky ear
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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