Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So much rum. So many feels.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
