Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
