so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize