Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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