He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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