Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
