I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
