yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
