New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize