Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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