All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
