Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
