So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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