Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
