her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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