either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
and you fell through a lawn chair
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
