Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Who died my cat blue again?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize