hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
accomplished twins. life is a go
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
