Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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