I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think I am morally bankrupt
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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