Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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