David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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