Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is Oprah even human
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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