And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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