I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
