Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
