he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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