i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
