Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
