I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
