The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
