i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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