is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
