i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We left the knife in your bed.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
