nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
