is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
