i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
