Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You smell like stripper and shame
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
