I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
