Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
