so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
