I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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