"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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