Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
