Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
