we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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