evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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