big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
